A new year a new me.

A hard beginning maketh a good ending. This is my first post of 2012 so I thought I would reflect on some of the goals I made for 2011. One of my goals from 2011 was to buy a car which I did and it’s a lot more expensive than I thought it would be. And it put a lot of responsibility on me which is cool I guess because with freedom comes responsibility right? Another goal I had was to learn how to cook. And what I learned from this goal is that you can’t expect to learn to cook in a year. Cooking is one of those things you learn as you grown, so what I did instead is make a cook book full of recipes I love. Another goal I set was to have better financial management and this goal was a real challenge one that I’m still dealing with and has being really trying at times. However it’s really good to have a family that is always there for you no matter what you’re going through. So some of my goals for this year are move out, practice the guitar every day, work out every day, and be more financially stable. So as for my quote: a hard beginning maketh a good ending – like this year (2012) and trying to be more financially stable is really really hard because of where I left off at the end of 2011, but hopefully from this hard beginning I can reach my good ending. I know it will be tough but I’m stepping up to the plate grabbing my helmet and accepting the challenge.

Life is for living

"The brave don't live forever, but the cautious do not live at all." through out my whole life I've been afraid. there are little things i'm afraid of such as heights i don't like climbing up on stuff or flying in airplanes. i'm also deathly afraid of spiders, even like little tiny spiders. I'm also afraid of driving i know that sounds weird but i am. I'm also afraid of police officers. I'm afraid of standing out and having all the attention on me. And those are just a few things although the list just goes on and on it seems like. Another big thing i'm afraid of rejection and what people think. And i know i'm not alone on this one i feel like we just live in this world where what people think has become the most important thing. One time i was driving with my mom and she saw that i was kind of uneasy and she asked me what was wrong and i told her how i don't like driving under bridges. And she told me that if i don't get over my fears i wouldn't be able to enjoy life. And at the time i was like whatever you my mom you have to say something like that. however now i'm starting to realize the full effect of my fears in my life. And the weird thing about me is when i'm scared i usually don't say anything aloud, unless you're going to put a spider in face then i'll scream. Now i'm in college and so are my friends and tell me all these cool things they've done and i just feel like i'm at a stand still... it's really lame. which brings me to my quote; the brave don't live forever- this life on earth is going to end- but the cautious do not live at all- but when we do leave this earth life do we want to regret not living our lives. so what i'm trying to say is that when i leave this earth i want to be able to say "i had a good run and i'm ready to start another." And i know it's going to be hard i'm not thinking it's going to be easy. i know life's tough but i think as long as i have my helmet i'll be okay.

I'm going to give all my secrets away.

"Fate has a way of putting things in front of us that we would rather leave behind." so this next week school will be starting up again and everyones all not excited about that, and usually i wouldn't be either. however for some reason i am excited. i'm excited to be in my classes learn things i don't know and training  my mind to start thinking school instead of break. i feel like a lot of people don't like going to school and i was totally like that in high school. however college is so much more different because your not there all day everyday. and i'm not a straight "A" student i just don't mind college. and now as for my quote, fate has a way of putting thins in front of us- such as going to school- that we would rather leave behind. i know there's a lot of people out there that think well how will this help me in the real world but it does trust me. so stay in school and you will be grateful for it because once you drop out of school it's so hard to go back. and for those of you who don't agree with me and don't want to take advice well i guess all i can say to you is that life's tough get a helmet.

Every new beginning comes from some others beginnings end

"From small beginnings comes great endings" so every new years i listen to my theme song of the previous year and i make new year resolutions. however this year i decided to call them goals. I don't know if feel like if i call them goals they're more likely to happen, because how many times have you made resolutions and then on the first day already forgot... this year one of my goals is to have  better financial management, and i didn't think that this one was going to be one of the more challenging but it definitely has. and this year when i was making my goals i was just think how many things i could do if i wasn't so afraid of failure. and i feel like thats a problem with other people too. we have such great potential we are just afraid. so this year when i was making my goals and thinking of this i wrote things that i might just fail at, but at least i can say i tried. also if i never try i'll never know. some of the things i put down was... learn how to cook, sing live in front of a crowd, better financial management and those are just the main ones. so from small beginnings- such as writing it down on paper- comes great endings- accomplishing it and gaining a better understanding of yourself. because at the end of the year when you look in the mirror do want to see who you truly are, see who you should be, see who you want to be, or do you want to see who you've become. and i'm not saying it going to be easy i know it will be hard and like i always say life's tough, get a helmet.

Family:)

"You don't choose your family. They are God's gift to you, as you are to them." so this past week has been really  busy because my brother got married! it was so exciting my sister and me got to be bridesmaids it was fun. and his new wife is so nice she just fits right in with my family. And it's just so cool they got married because i'm friends with her sister so about a month before they got engaged i texted my brother and she texted her sister asking them when they were going to get married and they said that they weren't and now they're married and happy as clam. I was talking with my best friend just catching up and stuff and she said,"Isn't it weird that you could have already met your spouse and not have even known it." And i thought that was so true, because my brother and his wife had been friends for many years before they got married. Anyways i just thought that was so cool and i was just happy to be a part of the wedding. It was amazing. which brings me to my quote, you don't choose your family - i would like to think fate brought them together- they are God's gift to you, as you are you are to them- families are eternal and the only thing that really gets you though the hard times. And even though my other brother couldn't make it, it was still okay and i guess its just times like these were i miss my mom. But i guess all i can do is go on and be strong for others because life's tough so get a helmet.

smile it's contagious.

"Happiness is a mood not a destination" I recently came home to live with my family again and it's been great previously i was living with an aunt and uncle until i was abruptly taken and brought home(by my parents) and at first i was really sad, but then i spent time with my family and i was really happy. I feel like people in this world only feel like they would be happy if some thing great happened to them. I used to think i would only be happy if i had some great thing or something of great worth. Since being home i meet my niece and she is a treasure. She's the sweetest thing ever and i know everyone says that about almost every baby, but she just has this thing about her were when you're around her you have to be happy and you just can't help but smiling at her  when you see her. When i was going to college i just found myself sad a lot and just wondering when i would be happy and just waiting... Not knowing even what or who i was waiting for. Personally i feel like a lot of people feel the same way like they're waiting for happiness to come to them instead of going and getting it. The funny thing about it is "happiness is a mood not a destination" and i think that a lot of people think happiness is a destination. for example saying i will be happy when this happens... when people start thinking of it that way it's harder to find. So i think everyone should think that "happiness is a mood not a destination" because when they do they will be able to find it and have it more often. And especially in this world today we definitely need happiness now and again. So i guess my advice to you is that life's tough get a helmet.    

am i brave... i think not

“Always stand up for what you believe in even If that means standing alone.” So since I got kicked out of my apartment I’ve been living with some family nearby and it’s been great I feel like I’ve learned so much from them. I don’t even think they know what a great impact they’ve have had on my life. It will be bitter sweet to leave them. Something that I’ve learned from living with them is to take more chances. So what, people won’t like you all the time and that’s their problem they’re the ones missing out. So I play basketball almost every other day at a local recreational center and it great I get to meet new people and get an exercise in (even though I’m not very good at basketball).  So we have this group that pretty much comes all the time. So today we were playing and this guy got way to aggressive (like usual) and pushed this women down to the ground.  And this woman is kind of an outsider in the group she just started coming like a week ago. Anyways, everyone just kind of froze like did that really happen no one knew what to do or say so they just started playing again. Then this woman who’s a regular comer each week stood up to this man who had done the awful act and told him that he should probably sit out for a little bit to cool down, and by this time the girl had gotten up and moved to the side and sat there crying.  And the man said no… and the weird part was that no one else was agreeing with the woman like she was in the wrong. - So this woman I see her at basketball all the time and she is so smart, brave, talented, kindhearted, and courageous. - Then she shed a tear and left, and that was the end of it they keep playing probably dwelled on it for like a minute after that woman left but that was it.  Which brings me to my quote always stand up for what you believe in – like the woman did for the other- even if that means standing alone – and she was alone no one had the guts to say anything. Not even me the whole time I just stood there like a helpless ant afraid that if I said anything I might get stepped on or hurt by their words. And so if I had to say I learned anything from this it’s that we should all take chances and don’t live in fear because life’s tough get a helmet.